Monday, April 20, 2015
Poor guy
Amazingly, my boys rarely get more than a cold. Today though, it appears CJ may have an ear infection. I need to take him to the Dr. tomorrow but it is a MAP testing day. Oh the stress of it all. This morning I made the mistake of over emphasizing how important it is for him to do is best on the test. He ended up crying over it. The stupid MAP test was one of the things I though was so stupid about public schools. There is just too much emphasis on this test. How do we stress to do your best and not blow it off and not put too much stress on them. I haven't helped prep him the way another mom has helped her child. Maybe I should be doing more. I know I should be doing more!!! Oh there is so much I should be doing. For now, the ears are more important than the test. I hope he sleeps well.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
JT cracks me up!
JT and CM were watching the Royals game with me tonight. JT knows several of the Royals players and shows more interested in the games than the other boys. He remembered a player on our team from last year and asked if he was still playing. I told him he plays for a different team now. We are playing the As tonight so JT asked if the player was on the As. I said "no" so he asked if he played for the Bs. I couldn't help buy laugh over that one.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Worry Wart
I believe most mom's worry about their children and their roll as a mother most of the time. I am definitely among that group. Right now I am trying to keep from getting overcome with worry regarding my 7 year old, CM. He occupies more than a third of my worry. He is the most loving, heartfelt, child but he also has so many emotional and educational struggles.
So CM's teacher emailed me a couple days ago and told me she would be meeting with some other staff at school regarding CM. They would be discussing his progress and plans for next year. She said she wanted to meet with me after their meeting. I can't say I'm surprised but still a bit upset. I know he struggles in school. I know he is behind. As I read the email though a worry started creeping up in me....is she going to tell me CM should repeat 1st grade???? Panic sets in. I don't want my son to repeat a grade. It breaks me heart to even think that it could be possible. Last year we struggled and I think his staff considered holding him back. Again, this isn't a surprise but still tough to think about. I emailed his teacher and asked if she is considering holding him back. Her response, "this is something we will want to wait to discuss". To me that means they are at least considering it.
I know CMs family history (at least half of it anyway). I know CM has always struggled in school. I know I work hard to help him. I know his diagnosis of ADD makes learning very difficult. Still I feel like I am failing myself. I should be doing more for him. I should be able to prevent this. I should have worked more with him. Mind you, no one has told me he will need to repeat 1st grade! The worries consume me. I think of how this will affect CM. Will it trouble him all his life? I struggled in school. I worked hard and still struggled and didn't have ADD so I know it must hurt him already but what would a repeat do to him?
I try to talk to Matt about it but I don't get much worry relief from him at this time. He isn't ready to think about it. Probably smart. Why worry about something that hasn't occurred! In the past Matt has said if our kids have to repeat a grade he would definitely change schools. Only now that we are in public school (he used to say this when we went to Catholic school). When I asked him about this last night he said "well there isn't much choices of where to send him now). We could send him back to Catholic school, we could try the Christian school, or I could homeschool. He immediately told me "No" to home school. He said I don't have the patience. He is probably right but I want to believe I could. I want to do anything I need to for the best of my children. I need to do it.
For now I'm trying to stay calm. I'm trying not to get ahead of the process and I'm looking to a few close friends who can provide me with emotional support. I asked the teacher to move the process along as quickly as she could for my sake. Not knowing is worse than knowing. I can't make plans and consider options if I don't know. The only thing I can do is try not to worry and continue to work with and encourage CM. Parenthood is so much tougher than ever expected. Praying that it all works out.
So CM's teacher emailed me a couple days ago and told me she would be meeting with some other staff at school regarding CM. They would be discussing his progress and plans for next year. She said she wanted to meet with me after their meeting. I can't say I'm surprised but still a bit upset. I know he struggles in school. I know he is behind. As I read the email though a worry started creeping up in me....is she going to tell me CM should repeat 1st grade???? Panic sets in. I don't want my son to repeat a grade. It breaks me heart to even think that it could be possible. Last year we struggled and I think his staff considered holding him back. Again, this isn't a surprise but still tough to think about. I emailed his teacher and asked if she is considering holding him back. Her response, "this is something we will want to wait to discuss". To me that means they are at least considering it.
I know CMs family history (at least half of it anyway). I know CM has always struggled in school. I know I work hard to help him. I know his diagnosis of ADD makes learning very difficult. Still I feel like I am failing myself. I should be doing more for him. I should be able to prevent this. I should have worked more with him. Mind you, no one has told me he will need to repeat 1st grade! The worries consume me. I think of how this will affect CM. Will it trouble him all his life? I struggled in school. I worked hard and still struggled and didn't have ADD so I know it must hurt him already but what would a repeat do to him?
I try to talk to Matt about it but I don't get much worry relief from him at this time. He isn't ready to think about it. Probably smart. Why worry about something that hasn't occurred! In the past Matt has said if our kids have to repeat a grade he would definitely change schools. Only now that we are in public school (he used to say this when we went to Catholic school). When I asked him about this last night he said "well there isn't much choices of where to send him now). We could send him back to Catholic school, we could try the Christian school, or I could homeschool. He immediately told me "No" to home school. He said I don't have the patience. He is probably right but I want to believe I could. I want to do anything I need to for the best of my children. I need to do it.
For now I'm trying to stay calm. I'm trying not to get ahead of the process and I'm looking to a few close friends who can provide me with emotional support. I asked the teacher to move the process along as quickly as she could for my sake. Not knowing is worse than knowing. I can't make plans and consider options if I don't know. The only thing I can do is try not to worry and continue to work with and encourage CM. Parenthood is so much tougher than ever expected. Praying that it all works out.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
And so it Begins
I probably set up this blog 2 years ago ready to tell my crazy stories of raising 3 boys but then I stopped. The title suggest no one know my name. I wanted to stay that way. Sometimes I'm very very embarrassed by my behaviors or that of my family and I'm not sure I want people to know who would dare act that way. Trust me, I really do have reason to be concerned. Today, I'm still very embarrassed by my behavior and that of my family at times but I guess I'm okay if people hear all of it. It might make me step up my actions. If I have to share it with others it better be worthy of sharing! Also, I hope to be real! There are times I wish I could be "invisible" or unnoticed. There are times I think things maybe other people think to. Maybe this is a way for us all to share unjudged. We can be real. So here goes.
I have three boys, CJ, CM, and JT. All three boys are adopted and the first two are diagnosed with ADD and CM also deals with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They are 9,7, and 5 years old. I'll tell you more about them as we go but I definitely want to express that these boys are my life. I love them beyond anything I could have imagined before adopting. I am also a wife to Matt. He and I met in High School and we've been married for almost 17 years. I'm sure I'll gripe a lot about him and my marriage. Marriage and parenting are so much tougher than I could have ever expected and they take more work than anything I've ever done in my life or will. So despite my griping and complaining please know that I love my husband so much it hurts. Sometimes it hurts being married to him, sometimes it hurts imagining not being married to him. I want to run away from all these males on many occasions but ultimately what I really want is them. Does that make sense????
I decided to start writing today as I though of CM, my 7 year old first grader. Last night we went to dinner and as I always like to do, I asked everyone how their day was and what if anything they did (If I just ask how their day was I get "good" end of story. I've learned to dig deeper.). When I asked my husband how his day was he responded "terrible". To my amazement the boys were actually paying enough attention to hear Matt's response. They were very concerned and asked why. This was my first heart touching moment. My boys stopped in their tracks of chaos to find out what their dad's day was all about and why he would respond in such a way. Dad is overwhelmed. He is overworked and way behind. We talked about how we could help him at home. We talked about CJ being okay with me fixing his oatmeal in the morning instead of dad so dad could get out of the house faster. CM could act a little calmer, and we could all go to be a little easier so Dad could sleep more and get to work earlier. I didn't think it stuck though. But at least they showed compassion in the mist of chaos (we are always in chaos).
This morning we headed to JT's bus stop. We drive there - a story for another time. Usually we pray on the way there. It is a tradition my mother had with us when we went to school and no it is a tradition with my boys and me -as corny as I thought it was when I was a kid. We didn't pray this morning. I don't know why. I thought about it but didn't feel up to it I guess. After dropping off JT we headed home to meet the older boys' bus. I mentioned praying and they boys wanted to. We start with a short prayer asking God to help us have a great day then we do special intentions and everyone shares. This is always interesting and will most likely be the source of more stories. Today it was touching. CM remembered our discussion at dinner last night and he prayed for Daddy. He prayed that he would have a good day and be able to get lots of work done.
This is an example of why I am writing this blog. Because I want to document the little moments in my life when things aren't in chaos. We aren't fighting or hurting each other. I want to remember these moments of deep felt love. They happen so much and are so important in our lives. The chaos is only a small part of who our family is yet sometimes it is so easy to focus on. Not all my stories will be so touching but they are all our stories of our family good and bad. They make us who we are and I want to remember all of them!
Now I've got to get off to work. I guess I need to tell you more about me but that will have to be told another day. I hope your day is filled with wonderful touching surprised of love.
Joan
I have three boys, CJ, CM, and JT. All three boys are adopted and the first two are diagnosed with ADD and CM also deals with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They are 9,7, and 5 years old. I'll tell you more about them as we go but I definitely want to express that these boys are my life. I love them beyond anything I could have imagined before adopting. I am also a wife to Matt. He and I met in High School and we've been married for almost 17 years. I'm sure I'll gripe a lot about him and my marriage. Marriage and parenting are so much tougher than I could have ever expected and they take more work than anything I've ever done in my life or will. So despite my griping and complaining please know that I love my husband so much it hurts. Sometimes it hurts being married to him, sometimes it hurts imagining not being married to him. I want to run away from all these males on many occasions but ultimately what I really want is them. Does that make sense????
I decided to start writing today as I though of CM, my 7 year old first grader. Last night we went to dinner and as I always like to do, I asked everyone how their day was and what if anything they did (If I just ask how their day was I get "good" end of story. I've learned to dig deeper.). When I asked my husband how his day was he responded "terrible". To my amazement the boys were actually paying enough attention to hear Matt's response. They were very concerned and asked why. This was my first heart touching moment. My boys stopped in their tracks of chaos to find out what their dad's day was all about and why he would respond in such a way. Dad is overwhelmed. He is overworked and way behind. We talked about how we could help him at home. We talked about CJ being okay with me fixing his oatmeal in the morning instead of dad so dad could get out of the house faster. CM could act a little calmer, and we could all go to be a little easier so Dad could sleep more and get to work earlier. I didn't think it stuck though. But at least they showed compassion in the mist of chaos (we are always in chaos).
This morning we headed to JT's bus stop. We drive there - a story for another time. Usually we pray on the way there. It is a tradition my mother had with us when we went to school and no it is a tradition with my boys and me -as corny as I thought it was when I was a kid. We didn't pray this morning. I don't know why. I thought about it but didn't feel up to it I guess. After dropping off JT we headed home to meet the older boys' bus. I mentioned praying and they boys wanted to. We start with a short prayer asking God to help us have a great day then we do special intentions and everyone shares. This is always interesting and will most likely be the source of more stories. Today it was touching. CM remembered our discussion at dinner last night and he prayed for Daddy. He prayed that he would have a good day and be able to get lots of work done.
This is an example of why I am writing this blog. Because I want to document the little moments in my life when things aren't in chaos. We aren't fighting or hurting each other. I want to remember these moments of deep felt love. They happen so much and are so important in our lives. The chaos is only a small part of who our family is yet sometimes it is so easy to focus on. Not all my stories will be so touching but they are all our stories of our family good and bad. They make us who we are and I want to remember all of them!
Now I've got to get off to work. I guess I need to tell you more about me but that will have to be told another day. I hope your day is filled with wonderful touching surprised of love.
Joan
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