I probably set up this blog 2 years ago ready to tell my crazy stories of raising 3 boys but then I stopped. The title suggest no one know my name. I wanted to stay that way. Sometimes I'm very very embarrassed by my behaviors or that of my family and I'm not sure I want people to know who would dare act that way. Trust me, I really do have reason to be concerned. Today, I'm still very embarrassed by my behavior and that of my family at times but I guess I'm okay if people hear all of it. It might make me step up my actions. If I have to share it with others it better be worthy of sharing! Also, I hope to be real! There are times I wish I could be "invisible" or unnoticed. There are times I think things maybe other people think to. Maybe this is a way for us all to share unjudged. We can be real. So here goes.
I have three boys, CJ, CM, and JT. All three boys are adopted and the first two are diagnosed with ADD and CM also deals with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They are 9,7, and 5 years old. I'll tell you more about them as we go but I definitely want to express that these boys are my life. I love them beyond anything I could have imagined before adopting. I am also a wife to Matt. He and I met in High School and we've been married for almost 17 years. I'm sure I'll gripe a lot about him and my marriage. Marriage and parenting are so much tougher than I could have ever expected and they take more work than anything I've ever done in my life or will. So despite my griping and complaining please know that I love my husband so much it hurts. Sometimes it hurts being married to him, sometimes it hurts imagining not being married to him. I want to run away from all these males on many occasions but ultimately what I really want is them. Does that make sense????
I decided to start writing today as I though of CM, my 7 year old first grader. Last night we went to dinner and as I always like to do, I asked everyone how their day was and what if anything they did (If I just ask how their day was I get "good" end of story. I've learned to dig deeper.). When I asked my husband how his day was he responded "terrible". To my amazement the boys were actually paying enough attention to hear Matt's response. They were very concerned and asked why. This was my first heart touching moment. My boys stopped in their tracks of chaos to find out what their dad's day was all about and why he would respond in such a way. Dad is overwhelmed. He is overworked and way behind. We talked about how we could help him at home. We talked about CJ being okay with me fixing his oatmeal in the morning instead of dad so dad could get out of the house faster. CM could act a little calmer, and we could all go to be a little easier so Dad could sleep more and get to work earlier. I didn't think it stuck though. But at least they showed compassion in the mist of chaos (we are always in chaos).
This morning we headed to JT's bus stop. We drive there - a story for another time. Usually we pray on the way there. It is a tradition my mother had with us when we went to school and no it is a tradition with my boys and me -as corny as I thought it was when I was a kid. We didn't pray this morning. I don't know why. I thought about it but didn't feel up to it I guess. After dropping off JT we headed home to meet the older boys' bus. I mentioned praying and they boys wanted to. We start with a short prayer asking God to help us have a great day then we do special intentions and everyone shares. This is always interesting and will most likely be the source of more stories. Today it was touching. CM remembered our discussion at dinner last night and he prayed for Daddy. He prayed that he would have a good day and be able to get lots of work done.
This is an example of why I am writing this blog. Because I want to document the little moments in my life when things aren't in chaos. We aren't fighting or hurting each other. I want to remember these moments of deep felt love. They happen so much and are so important in our lives. The chaos is only a small part of who our family is yet sometimes it is so easy to focus on. Not all my stories will be so touching but they are all our stories of our family good and bad. They make us who we are and I want to remember all of them!
Now I've got to get off to work. I guess I need to tell you more about me but that will have to be told another day. I hope your day is filled with wonderful touching surprised of love.
Joan
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